So on Feb. 1st I started a Get Fit Challenge through the Stroller Strides hoo ha that I adore soooooo very much. Awesome! I've been doing ok. Been working out around 4 times a week. Ok, but not great. Been doing a little better nutritionally. Ok, but not great. So I need to get to great.
Last year when I was doing my 4 by 44 challenge I was so motivated, so "on it". I was kickin ass and takin names. This challenge I'm a little more "meh". I'm giving it about 3/4 of my all at workouts, but I just don't have that sense of "hell yeah!" this time around. So what is different? How do I get my mojo back? Been thinking about it for a few days and it sort of bopped me in the head last night. You. I need you. I need to be accountable. I need to put it to the universe and say it out loud.
So, here we go again! I'm saying it out loud. Honestly. Embarrassingly. Hopefully. Nakedly. I'm putting it out there.
Since my world tilted off it's axis last fall, I ate my way through the months that have come and gone. All the hard work. All the sweat and dedication. All the wins and losses. All of it went down my throat in the form of food. Sweet. Salty. Fatty. I ate and drank with abandon. I didn't go overboard and binge myself into oblivion, I just stopped caring about what went in. I also slacked like a mofo on my workouts. Excuses were made. Ways out were sought and found. Ugh. All of this equals being right back where I started. I'm back in a size 10.
There is an ickyness that comes with failure. An ickyness that wasn't present last time. The ickyness of being the girl who cried wolf. I said I was going to do it. I got about half way there and then stopped. Just stopped. Dead in my tracks stopped. It's pretty humiliating. I don't like it. No sir, not one bit. I'm back to being embarrassed of myself again. "Please don't take my picture." "Sorry honey, I want to have sex, but I don't want you to see what all is back to jiggling again." I don't even want to look at clothes much less put on anything that wouldn't be tossed in the can on What Not to Wear. If its baggy and stretchy, ok. Other than that, no way Jose. I've been so thankful for cold weather. It gives me a reason to hide under sweatshirts.
I don't want to be this person anymore.
I want to change. I really, really do.
Here's the game plan. I am enrolled in this challenge for 10 weeks total. For the workouts my plan is to do a minimum of 4 days a week, but the goal is 5. 4 Stroller Strides classes and one Babyless Bootcamp class per week. I will get back to running outside in the spring. I'm realizing that I have got to get a hold of my food. It is the bane of all I am trying to accomplish. I have called a nutritionist and am scheduling a few private sessions with her. This means a change for the whole family. I can't do that part on my own. I know this will be way harder than any workout. Some logistics and circumstances are going to be major obstacles. Sure, I'd love to have all the time and money to do nothing but eat local, seasonal, organic greatness. Sure I'd love to incorporate more fish and less meat into our diet. Reality? I have a family with certain likes and dislikes and a budget and a little guy that doesn't understand mommy being in the kitchen for long periods of time. Not making excuses, just saying this is going to be the biggest challenge in my Get Fit Challenge.
I'm going to celebrate my ups. I'm going to be honest about my downs. I'm going to find my stride. I'm going to encounter bumps in the road. I will rejoice. I will complain. I will do this.