Page Six

The hardest part of my workout is putting on my shoes. Saturday morning I spent half my time trying not to talk myself out of my run. There was a lot of, "Hey, it's your first week. Cut yourself some slack" "Your legs are tired, give it a rest" "Come on, the guys are sleeping in. You should too" but I kept fighting back. I knew I had to do it. I knew that if I didn't I would be so mad at myself and then the whole thing would go out the door. I knew I had to face you. I knew you would be looking for this, for page six, so I had to do it. So then I did it. I put on those shoes, grabbed my iphone and headed out the door. My legs were tired, so I cut myself a little bit of slack and only did two miles. But, I did two miles. And that feels good. 

Food. Oh food. Shawn surprised me with cooking breakfast. Homemade corned beef hash with eggs. I ate it. It was delicious. I did watch my portion control. One egg, small plate. Left myself wanting more. A lot more, but I was good. Lunch was a gopicnic; humus on whole seed crackers, fruit and nut trail mix, dry roasted edemame. Snacked on carrots from the garden and a couple of oranges. Dinner was a small bowl of my award winning Wild Earp Black Bean Chili and a small piece of cornbread. It was a grey rainy day and my guys requested it. How could I say no? I figure when I'm faced with the foods I love to eat, but probably shouldn't, but it's what is on hand, the one thing I can control is how much of the yummy stuff I consume. I think having my two guys around, portion control is gonna be my go to. My husband is a meat and potatoes Kansas boy and my little one is way low in percentiles and needs to eat as many calories as possible. Hard to stay on a chicken and lettuce regimen. I really don't want to cook separate meals. That's a lot of time and a lot of cash. Neither of which I have an abundance of. So here's to tiny plates and doing my best!

Page 5

Gurl, I am one tuckered pup this mornin...

Ok, so yesterday went great. I got in two workouts. The first was a killer Stroller Strides class. It was unusually humid here in colorful Colorado, so I started sweating just getting the stroller out of the car. Still using the double, by the way. Still no air in the tire on the single.

Amanda subs on Fridays. Her energy is. up. there! Stratospheric. She makes us go go go. We did multiple, quick stations each focusing on a different area - upper, lower, core, etc. Fast reps with cardio in between. Solid hour of nonstop workout. We were all worn out by the end. I tried to really push myself. Focused on my form, ran instead of walked to the station locations, didn't quit. It felt good. I even pulled a Mia Hamm - ripped off my shirt and ran around in my jog bra. It wasn't pretty, but I had to get that extra layer off. Ooooey!

Got a couple of extra bonuses for my hard work! One was a lovely layer of goose poop all over my bad self. We do this stuff around Sloan's Lake and there are a grillion Canadian Geese strutting about. Somehow I was lucky enough to land in a pile at every station. Yay me! Second I was picked as one who busted their ass in class and got a lovely bag of smell good type bath salts. Aaaand on top of all that I scored the sweetest, most kick ass pair of Oakley sunglasses!!! Winning!!!

My second workout was some intense carpet action. No, not that kind, you freak! First off, let me just say that trying to clean with a toddler in the house is like trying to brush your teeth while eating oreos. But it had to be done. After I vacuumed, which is a workout all it's own, I got one of those big machines you rent from Home Depot and cleaned my rugs. The monster is big and heavy and trying to maneuver it is a bitch. Well this bitch maneuvered it all the way up the stairs. Sweaty broad part deaux! cardio, upper body, lower body, core - all engaged moving that bugger around, up and down. So yeaah, that counts as workout number two for the day! I'm taking it any way I can! (that's what she said)

Didn't have the greatest day with the ole food hoo ha. Breakfast was a small bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios with 1%. Lunch was random bites of left over broccoli slaw in lite poppy seed dressing while cleaning. Snack was a banana and a couple of carrots out of our garden. Dinner was jambalaya rice with sausage, corn and Tabasco. I watched my portion on dinner. I knew it wasn't exactly a "healthy" meal, so I really kept my plating in check. I read somewhere that spice heat increases your metabolism, which is why I added the Tabasco. I was sweating again, so hope that counts for something. Water all day except two glasses of lemonade.

OK, there's my accountability check for yesterday. On to today. Gonna start with a run!
See ya!!

Page Four

Just finished my run. Three miles bitches!!! Hell yeah!! The air was thick with smoke and bad ozone, but I did it!!

And I learned a very valuable lesson - tuck it in!
My favorite jog bra is actually a tank. It keeps the abbly dabblies in place, but the bottom keeps riding up when I run. Just after mile one I had an epiphany, "try sticking it into your running skirt, dummy". Well low and freaking behold it worked like a charm! I can run freely now. No more tugging at myself every few feet. Glory be hallelujah!

I did pretty alright on the ole food front. Breakfast was a teeny tiny bowl of cranberry almond cereal with 1% milk. It was teeny tiny because it was the last of the cereal and I didn't feel like mixing flavors. Lunch was a gopicnic meal. The tuna was na-ha-hasty so I substituted humus for it and smeared it on the small handful of whole seed crackers, thoroughly enjoyed the palmful of almond, raisin and peanut trail mix and the yummy 2 x 2 square of dark chocolate. Snack was a banana and tonight's dinner is baked chicken kiev with lemon thyme couscous and a broccoli slaw in lite poppy seed dressing. Water all day except my morning cup o' joe.

You know it's only been a few days, but I am starting to feel powerful. I guess what I'm feeling is more control. Control over myself, my food, my abilities, my life. Ive even started asking for what I want. Sooooooooo not me! But yeah, I'm kind of feeling like I deserve better. I'll always put my family first, but now I'm starting to feel like I should have some equal billing. It's almost like I can say, "hey I want to do this, so I'm gonna do it." It's empowering. It feels strangely good. I think I like it.

Page Three

Oh beautiful for spacious skies...

Yep, 4th of July!! (firework firework) It was a great day with my guys. Got up early and walked in a little neighborhood parade/picnic. It was super fun and super adorable. Aaaand... I sort of counted it as my exercise for the day - especially the walk back to the car, uphill almost the entire way. There was some good wagon pulling to add to the walk. The wagon did contain a cooler filled with picnic supplies and a toddler. There was also a large field where a lot of chasing occurred. Plus it was a grillion degrees outside, so my sweat was a continual on.

Afterwards there was a lot of sitting about and a small trip to Target. It was not the most productive day, but I won't count it as a wash. The parade route was significant and we intentionally parked a nice distance from the start of it. Dadgummit! I'm counting it! So there! Nyah!

Food... There again, not the best, but not a total loss either. I didn't go bat shit crazy. Breakfast was some cranberry almond cereal with 1% milk. Lunch was a ham & cheese sandwich with lite mayo on whole grain bread, watermelon and a couple of chips. Snack was a handful of chips. Dinner was a grilled 2% cheese 93/7 burger with some baked beans and a few more chips. (I know... the chips were a lousy choice) I drank mostly water, a little bit of juice and only two lite beers - on a bloody hot 4th of July, only 2 lite beers is a victory! The other victory was not sticking my face into a vat of ice cream. That may have been the biggest challenge of the day! No ice cream. None. Nada. Zero. Zip. I knew there was going to be a hamburger on the grill so I left the creamy cold delicious heathen alone - even as I stared down the face of the Little Man Ice Cream shop. I feel good about that, for ice cream is my vice. She is a terrible temptress and avoiding her siren song is a challenge like no other in my world.

So yeah... that happened. On to day four!

Page Two

Well that bitchy excuse monster keeps rearing her ugly mug just daring me not to succeed. To her I say a big giant bbbbbllllllltttttttthhhhhhzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

I like to do my runs in the evening - around 6:00, so this gives a full day of either talking myself into or out of a run. Today the conversation was really positive... right up until time to take off. Oi vey!

First came the telephone chat trying to determine if I would be running solo or not. Or not was how it wound  up. Ok. Time to get dressed for sweat. I went to put on my good jog bra and... Argh!! it's still in the dryer and not even remotely dry right beside good jog bra number two. Mind you I only have two. So scrambling about for a solution I came across two old and kind of crappy jog bras. I put both of the buggers on and voila! We have lift off! Well... actually... not really lift off... more like lock down. Anyway, put on the shoes realizing I had on two different socks. Screw it. Not taking the time to find the match. Just gonna run lopsided. Went outside to load up the jogging stroller and dagnabbit, the tire is still flat. Wokay, double stroller to the rescue! And we're off to Sloan's lake!

As I pull out of the driveway, I'm faced with some rather dark, ominous looking clouds on the prowl. They have thunderstorm written all over them. Determined to do this, I focus on the road and keep going. Trying to ignore the little plink plank of raindrops on the windshield I forge on. Weather be damned, I am doing this! Pax fell asleep on the way and the transition to the stroller went smoothly. Things were looking up! Loaded my water bottle and keys in the wagon, cued up my killer Nike ap, plugged in my... are you freaking kidding me? I grabbed the wrong stupid ear buds! Cheese and rice! One of the buds is a staticy blown speaker. No worries, I'll just go one eared. Let's do this thing!

Started well. Nice pace. Rain stopped. Good tune to get me going. Not too far in, I could tell it had been a couple of weeks since I got a run in. Mile one was slow, but ok. Mile two my feet felt like bricks. Thank baby jeebus for good ole Re Re (that's Aretha Franklin to we who adore her) She pulled me to the end of mile two. Miss Etta James got me the rest of the way home and Beck's Sexx Laws pushed my victory sprint up the hill. All one eared and all glorious! How did people ever run before itunes?

The munching was ok today. Not great. Not horrible. Greek yogurt and granola for breakfast. Left over stir fry for lunch. A total of 4 whole grain pita chips with spinach artichoke humus for snack and I'm baking some chicken for dinner. Water all day with the exception of one glass of lite white grape juice.  

Wondering about tomorrow... 4th of July... could be trouble...

Page one

Everytime my husband reads a story to Pax he always starts it off by reading the title, opening the book and saying, "Page one". I just love that!! We're going to start this journey off the same way..

Page one...
Well I was hit in the face with every chance at excuse. Pax gave me the most unusual wake up call at 5:30 AM. So excuse number one - sleep deprivation. While I was helping Shawn get his day started, the dreaded laundry monster reared it's ugly head. Excuse number two - I have too much to do. By the time I got S-man off to work, it was fast approaching 9:00 and neither Pax nor I were dressed. Excuse number three - runnng late, won't make it in time. Got us dressed. Got the water bottles filled. Grabbed the sunscreen and my keys. Ran out the door and saw the wheel on my jogging stroller was flat. Excuse number four - can't jog with a flat jogging tire. Went to air up the tire and the air compressor wasn't charged. Dead battery = no inflating of said tire. Excuse number five - this is getting ridiculous! said screw it, grabbed the double jogging stroller, threw it in the car, buckled Pax in his seat and headed off to Stroller Strides.

We made it... aahhh....

Got a great ass kicking. We did more resistance/strength training than cardio today - which was great considering how hot it's been. (Excuse number six - the bloody heat) Lots of adductor/abductor stuff with some great tricep hoo ha. Felt awesome!!!

Afterwards we played on the playground and then went to walk my sweaty mess off at the Museum of Nature and Science with Pax and some pals. Good day!

Food glorious food for the day. Not bad. Breakfast was some greek yogurt and granola with a big ole cup of coffee. Lunch was a salad at Chipootle - chicken, lettuce, corn slasa, dressing, no cheese, no sour cream or guac, with a bottle of water. After museum snack - cantaloupe. Dinner - Stir fry. Onions, squash, zuccini, broccoli and chicken tossed with an orange, soy, ginger, citrus sauce over white rice with a glass of water.

I feel great. Great start! Best part - no excuses! I kicked each and every one! Take that you freaking freak freaks! Yeah!!

Ready, set, go!

I have this little thing, if I say something out loud, then I have to do it. So I am saying this at the top of my lungs. Shouting it so loud I have no choice but to see it through. It's a biggun! A fairly lofty, but I believe attainable goal; 4 by 44!

huh?

I want to be back in a size 4 by my 44th birthday - which is October 1st.

A wee bit o' history here... my weight and I haven't always had the best relationship. You could put it in the dysfunctional category. I can't blame Weight entirely. I've been responsible for many of the arguments. But since we moved to Colorado, it's been a downward spiral. Shortly after Shawn and I got married, I started doing some fertility hoo ha. That alone can pack on some heat, but add to that some "I'm just getting by body ready for a baby" excuse fest and you can go from a size 2 to a size 10 pretty easily. So here I am, not at my physical best.

There are a three reasons I want to hit my goal.

1) My husband. He met and married someone - me. And the me he married was confident, sexy, and loved to be seen. The me he comes home to now has changed her name to Poca Hotmess. I use the "busy mom" excuse to wear awful clothes (and by awful, I mean the same ugly t-shirt a few days in a row), no make up and baseball hats. I have zero confidence, I'm certainly not sexy and I try desperately to only be seen from the neck up or the knee down. The me I use to be was an adventurous hoot in the sack. The me I am now doesn't want to be naked in front of him. It ain't fair. A friend of mine once said he proposed to Marie Osmond, but wound up married to Roseanne Barr. I don't want my guy to feel like that - ever!

2) My son. Being an older mom, time and energy become increasingly harder to come by. I want to make sure I have plenty for him. I want my time on this planet to be energized so I can be engaged and active in his life. I don't want to sit and wave as he passes by. I want to be on the crazy ride with him. I want to participate in his growing up, not be a spectator. And pictures... this one kind of breaks my heart. I want him to have tons of pictures from his childhood. I want him to have a million happy images of our family so he can keep memories alive. I'm off to a good start as far as taking those pictures goes, but the problem is, I'm not in them. Right now I hate having my picture taken - hate it! I hide behind people in group photos. I say, "You two go over there, I'll take it" when we're out having adventures. Not cool. Not cool at all. I want my little guy to see me laughing and having fun with him, so he can remember how much I love him and how much fun we've had together.

3) Me. I miss me. I miss feeling good about myself. I miss shopping. I miss getting dressed up and looking hot. I miss feeling like there was nothing I couldn't do. I miss going out with friends and feeling equal. I miss sweaty, rockin sex. I miss going on auditions. I miss performing without fear. I miss being proud of my work. I miss being in front of a camera. I miss being arm candy. I miss wanting to meet new people. I miss being the first to jump up and say "Sure! let's do this!" to anything that came my way. It sucks hiding from the world, my family and myself.

So, that's why I'm doing this. This here platform is gonna keep me accountable. I'm gonna use it to keep me on track and on target. Hope you don't mind. Hope some of you take the journey with me. My plan o' action is basically to do it the old fashioned way - diet and exercise. Six days a week of working out and a 75/25 approach to eating.

So here's to some ass kicking!!
Cheers!